Trials are teaching tools straight from God. If we don’t learn the intended lesson, the Lord will bring the same type of trial in our life again until we learn. Sometimes it’s a certain type of person, other times it’s a physical pain or discomfort, and the list goes on. With our second child came Postpartum Depression. Many factors contributed; mainly hormones.
The physical affects the spiritual, the outcome depends on how you respond and react.
Apparently, I had a lesson or two to learn. Apparently, I haven’t learned the lesson yet since I’m experiencing the same symptoms in this pregnancy as with pregnancy number two. I am thankful for the privilege it is to be able to bear children and the countless blessings of the three we have so far. I find it very difficult to be thankful, however, for crazy hormones and lack of feeling like myself.
“In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”~1 Thessalonians 5:18
“You’ll never be you again. You’re a different person in a different stage of life. You have children now, you cannot be the person you used to be. That’s ok.”, advised a wise mentor recently. Not exactly what I wanted to hear, but a little comforting anyway. No need to cry out to God in exasperation anymore with, “I just wanna be me!!!” God is forming a new me. I’m already a new creature because I’ve accepted Christ as my personal Saviour.
My dear husband reminds me of the advantage we have this time if I do get Postpartum again. We’ve been through this before. Our communication has improved since and we’re on the same page. I have access to some all-natural resources if necessary. We have an idea of what to expect. We can pray with understanding and ask God to remove this outcome, or to allow my hormones to change back to sort of normal quickly. And, as we did with the last pregnancy, we can find out if this baby is a boy or girl so that there won’t be any surprises (hopefully!!) during labour and delivery with all the crazy hormones already present! Knowing 18-19 weeks in advance gives me time to bond with baby boy or girl before he or she is on the outside. I am convinced that this helped the last time.
Something else we’ve been reminding ourselves of is the wonderful blessing from God that sweet Clara is now. The first 7 months of her life were a very difficult time for me, but oh the laughs and joy she brings now is beyond worth it!
I admit that I do fear another Postpartum experience, but I know my God is greater. If He sees fit to bring this trial again, He will give the grace to endure and more! We’ve seen Him faithful, His grace has never been insufficient. The last few months have forced me to draw closer to God and He has opened my eyes to more of Himself in all His greatness. I may not be ready for such a trial in my own power, but
“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”